I remember when I was younger my mum kept trying to get me to write a diary to improve my English. I never did because I couldn’t think of anything meaningful to write. I kept telling her that all I would write is ‘I woke up, I went to school, I got home, I did my homework, I had dinner, I went to sleep’ and it would be that same cycle every day; excluding the weekends when I would mainly just sit at home not doing anything special. The point was that I didn’t think my life was interesting or special enough to write a diary.
Now I am older there is definitely a lot more to think about and life isn’t necessarily as mundane as it used to be, however that doesn’t mean I prefer being older. In fact I do miss being in primary school when nothing really mattered and life was so carefree, but I also remember that I was always looking forward to being older when I was in primary school. When I was younger I had the impression that being older meant that I could do anything I wanted, which would make life more fun and interesting (yet I have still not fulfilled one of my childhood dreams of being able to drive).
I don’t think I would ever have imagined myself writing a blog, because, just like having a diary, I had no idea what I could possibly blog about. It could be due to the fact that there are bigger decisions coming into my life, or that I am only just starting to understand the world around me a bit more, but I now seem to have so much on my mind. I am no longer cocooned in the everyday cycle of primary school, but am open to experience more of life in positive and negative ways. But this newfound freedom still doesn’t seem to be enough to prevent me from looking back and wishing I was still in my primary days. For me, it seems like this extra freedom carries the burden of responsibility and I preferred it when I didn’t have this responsibility. Maybe I’m just difficult to satisfy, or maybe freedom isn’t as simple as just being able to do whatever I want.
Anyway this blog, which was meant to be about me blogging for the first time, has somehow become a look back at my life, so I will stop here before it veers off in another wayward direction. I hope my subsequent posts won’t go totally off track from what they are meant to be about, but knowing myself I have no idea what I’m going to do next.